August 24, 2011

paint over a black sky

I took my woman to the river bank
South by Jefferson
we were nude and everywhere
she moved like a fish out of water
we were past the city lights
and that night
she tried to move the moon
with one hand but couldn't
we kissed

her lips were bitter like lemons
this was the first time she saw the stars
carelessly thrown like paint over the black sky
and she saw the sun
stick its head out over the distant hills
and it was as bright as a thousand headlights
coming over the Van Wyck
that morning

drew degennaro (Baldwin, NY, 1985)


Rupert Pupkin said...

Something about this piece is very beautiful, I just wish the line breaks were cleaner. "She tried to move the moon with one hand but couldn't" is unspoken, albeit melodramatic, poetry. But poetry is just that-- gorgeous moments hyperbolized in subtle ways; skirting with over-indulgence only to reel it back in.

Don't fear punctuation for it is a means of assistance, not a structural enemy.